super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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