you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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