He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I will be naked everywhere
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well I just put wine in my tea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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