i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
