If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
