have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
