i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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