Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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