my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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