I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
