meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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