So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
