Don't you send me to vm
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize