How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
