Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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