Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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