i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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