i barfeds in our rink
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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