In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
