i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
