The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My vagina just recognized that song.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
