My room smells like vodka and shame
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
