i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
