i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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