Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
