Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
