Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
