It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize