why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
