I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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