tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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