Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Drake has all the answers
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
