Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
