My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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