Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize