I want to make a zoo with you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
