Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
