Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
