1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
