You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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