I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I need moral support for this bender
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
