In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize