just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
