Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
