Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize