I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
