Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
