His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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