Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
