So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
