So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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