In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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