id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
