I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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