I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
