just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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