All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize