She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
