not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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