So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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