You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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