it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
