plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
