she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
