Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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