my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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