you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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