I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
