ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
