so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
